She said I wasn’t well,

But I felt fine. 

I just need to get this part out,

These words swirling in my mind. 

Why wasn’t she listening,

I need her to hear,

To understand. 

---

My tongue ready at the trigger,

Please just let me say these last few words,

I need them off my chest,

No, these are different words this time,

You don’t understand it’s not the same thing over again.  

---

I need you to hear me,

I don’t want your reaction,

Yes it matters but I can’t consume,

Please you aren’t hearing me,

Please you don’t understand. 

---

I’m up at night again,

My focus isn’t there,

It isn’t anywhere,

But on this one thing.

I’m all in,

But only on the words I need to say.

---

The road ahead I cannot see,

I can only stay right here at this part,

I don’t want to stay here,

I know there’s so much good around us,

But I have to,

They don’t matter right now,

Only my thoughts matters so fucking much,

You don’t understand,

Please, we must stay,

Are you still there.

– scob