I mean, mask off, are you really happy?

I don’t feel okay

It’s different this time

It’s 3am and my thoughts racing 

Guilt as my shadow

I’m pacing the floor

Writing on the bathroom mirror again

---

Blade pressed to my skin

Ruminating thoughts 

So heavy so sped up

But it feels like I’m floating 

They just won’t stop

I’m in pain 

A pain they can’t see

Would they miss me

Perceptions of my reality

What would they say

Will a slit of the wrist make me feel

Feel anything other than this

---

I feel lonely

Do you feel like talking?

---

I want to slide my mask down just a little

Say what I really feel

In fact I want to rip the mask right off

Say who I really am

---

Please know that I’m holding on tightly

White knuckles 

Eyes closed

This part of the ride will be over soon

I won’t enjoy it 

Don’t worry

I will get through it

No matter where I am going. 

-scob